The Trapeze Swinger

Please, remember me happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin, the time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention

But please, remember me fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then they went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like "We'll meet again" and "Fuck the man"
And "Tell my mother not to worry"
And angels with their great handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry

And please, remember me that Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight, we'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world and then returned
And now you're lit up by the city

So please, remember me mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower
Calling passers-by but much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Gleam and resonate, just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like "Lost and found" and "Don't look down"
And "Someone save temptation"

And please, remember me as in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees and fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like and even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see a trapeze
Swinger high as any savior

But please, remember me, my misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain and chasing trains
The colored birds above their running
In circles around the well and where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter
So bright, on cinder gray, in spray paint
"Who the hell can see forever?"

And please, remember me seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees, you turned from me
And said, "The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last", the clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs, the parking lot
Had an element of danger

So please, remember me finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear, but if I make the pearly gates
I'll do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
An angel kissing on a sinner
A monkey and a man, a marching band
All around a frightened trapeze swinger


Sam Beam's delightful ballad, "The Trapeze Swinger" recreates the past through an onset of images remembered from his childhood, all while pleading his absent friend to "remember [him] happily... fondly... seldomly". Beam's impeccable talent to connect with the listener and alluding to common memories during "Halloween... with faces painted white".  

Business Letter

123 Main Street
Penticton, British Columbia
V2A 3W1

May 25, 2011

Marissa Pretorius
105 150 Stocks Court
Penticton, British Columbia
V2A 9C5

Dear Mr. Kleats,

My name is Marissa Pretorius and I am the mother of Suzie Pretorius, one of the players on your team. I am a frequent attendee of the soccer games and I would like to address some minor concerns in regard to your coaching methods. I would greatly appreciate it if you took some time and read this letter.

Your willingness to volunteer as a coach for the grade nine girls soccer team is greatly admired by all your players and players' parents. We understand that this job entails a lot of time and effort. We also understand that taking on a big task, like coaching, is a big commitment, and the parents applaud you for being able to do this, but as a parent I see there are a few problems that have risen since the beginning of the season.

I have recently noticed that practises have been scattered through out the week, due to this my daughter has not been able to attend many of the practises because of her other commitments. This might also be the situation for many other players on your team. It would be beneficial for the team if practises were held on a set day of the week and time for the remainder of the season.

Out on the field I have also noticed that my daughter and the team play much better when reinforced with positive encouragement and critiqued with constructive criticism. By reinforcing them with positive feedback I notice the team displays more confidence in their skills and show much more enthusiasm towards the game.

One of my main concerns is the big emphasis on winning. As a human being I understand that winning is important to each of us, but it isn't everything. I have seen the players on your team react much more to a loss than a win. I think it would be very beneficial if you steered the focus on winning on to another aspect of the game, such as ball handling skills.

 Sincerely, 

Marissa Pretorius

The New AIDS

    Each school is its own kingdom, consisting of its own phyla, phyla being each grade, and then from then on  each phyla has its own class leading down to each taxa until species. Because in all of its essence each person is truly unique from the rest... or so one might like to think.
    Uniqueaphobia is a common illness found in most high schools, and is becoming more relevant in middle schools. Common symptoms include feeling aloof from desired friends, not realizing one's true friends, mimicking popular fashion styles, and a sudden onset of sheep-like behaviour. Making noises similar to that of a sheep have also been reported. The illness has resulted in many self inflicted murders and wounds. Uniqueaphobia has always been present through many generations but has never caused so much ruckus amongst teenagers since it first arouse in the 1950s when teen culture started to evolve.
     Uniqueaphobia has resulted in many other illnesses as well. Researchers have recently discovered that acceptance is the only cure. Uniqueaphobia has recently became an epidemic in the greater part of the Okanagan Valley, and is spreading quiet rapidly into other parts of the world. This illness is most common in areas where children are smothered by endless opportunities and surrounded by some of the best educational schools in the world. Days are often devoted to helping the millions of students in North America to over come this bazaar phobia.
      With a futile treatment, this illness will likely never be over come by many high school students. Luckily, many victims of uniqueaphobia over come this illness shortly after leaving high school. Although this illness never goes away, symptoms do become less severe as one grows older and realizes that life really isn't that bad.

Dialogue Assignment

It is a Sunday night.
     "You know you don't always have to make me look like a fool infront of your mother all the time," muttered Harold under his breath.
      "Excue me!" exclaimed Suzy brusquely.
      "It just seems that every time your mother comes over, it results in a mutual feeling of distress between us due to the outcome of the night," explained Harold.
     "Well," then Suzy let out a long breath, that seemed like an eternity to Harold, but in reality lasted about three seconds, "it isn't like you always make the best example of yourself at the dinner table. I mean you can get rather short tempered whenever she is around." Suzy paused. Harold, started to feel a sudden rage taking over his insides waiting to explode. He flipped the page.
     "Well I am not going to apologize for my actions, I was only trying to defend myself. She was ripping me apart right infront of you
   

Marissa Danger Pretorius

     A mere seventeen years ago, no one could image that two ordinary people could come together and from such an extraordinary person. For most of my life I was inferior to most. Then God had an epiphany and realized I am the most astonishing person you will ever approach. From that day on, I was the most astonishing  person you will ever approach. Indians call me, "Greatest White Face Ever Seen". My beauty is impeccable.

     Even though, I am not the reason why Rosa Parks decided to sit in the 'white' area of the bus, but I did sit next to her on the bus the day she decided to do so. See, I have witnessed or inspired many monumental moments in history that have changed the world in some sort of way. I was present when Mandela decided to change South Africa to become the 'Rainbow Nation' it is today, and I am also the one who told Martin Luther King to dream. I am the one, who decided democracy was the next best thing, and that pink is the new black. My charm, will never be bound.

     I am the Lucy, I am Elanor Rigby, I am Prudence. I am the one who wants to hold your hand. I am the one who let it be. I am the egg-man. I am the walrus. Goo goo g'joob.
    
     In life, I have received many titles, but never have I received my high school diploma that dubs me, a high school graduate.

    

    

    

  

Grade 12

As we move farther in life, our grade 12 year may just seem like a sliver in time, even though we'll keep talking about it years after. For some students grade 12 was so great and exciting that they decided to become teachers because they just couldn't get enough of school. Living vicariously through their students they try to re-live their "golden years". A good example of this would be Mrs. Searcy. She constantly causes a ruckus with her English Literature class that has some questioning if she is still stuck in grade 12 herself. For some students, school another government scheme and would rather be home playing Black Ops, than having to listen to another word coming out of a teacher's mouth. But making too much of a big deal of grade twelve may also not be the best way of going through your year. Sure it's exciting, but you don't want to seem like high school is all you will ever have. Let's be honest, Penticton will never be filled with as much drama as 90210, and realistically, we won't actually ever get as out of control as the kids from American Pie. But, that still doesn't mean we can't try to make the best of grade 12, because for those who don't fail, we only have one shot of making grade twelve "one of the best years of our lives". As someone currently in grade eleven, I am still just thinking about what it would feel like to finally be in grade twelve. I have heard countless of times from high school graduates to make the best of my high school experience, because you will never be able to go back and experience something like that again. Unless they create a time machine, then we can possibly go back and re-live what was suppose to be a one time deal.